Afraid of men?

Today Julia came in and informed me that she couldn't do her work because she had been using the computer in the volunteer room to type a paper from a binder and now Ed was in the volunteer room and she didn't want to get in Ed's way.

I said, "No problem, you can sit out here at the front desk and you can use the computer here...it'll access the one in the volunteer room and we can get what you've been typing off of it."

She says OK and then asks me to get the binder from the volunteer room because she doesn't want to disturb Ed. She describes the binder by saying, "It looks like this one," and points into space. I say, "What?" She points directly at a green book and I say, "It looks like this green book?" "No," she says, "It's a binder."

I laugh and then say, "Ok, where did you leave it?" She says "In the volunteer room," like I'm stupid. I pause and then say, "It's a big room, Julia."

She sighs and reluctantly follows me to the doorway of the room Ed is in, but won't step inside. Luckily it only took me a second to find the damn binder.

She has never met Ed before, and had never spoken to him. Thoughts?

New Country??

Today Dan was telling us about a relative who they thought was German, but it turns out she is Jewish instead.

Whirley

Today Julia informed me that she needs to "slow down" before she gets "whirley in the head."

Julia is a single 40-something, no kids, and NO JOB. She spends her time volunteering, folks. How'd you like that for a life?

Renal Information

Gary just told me he has to have a renal exam.

Really? Do I need to know this?

Dan's Epiphany

What do they call it when you get up in front of everyone at church and share the story of when you first accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Isn't it called sharing your epiphany? Well, Dan just shared his with me and boy, is it a doozy.

When he was 10 years old he was angry at his father because he didn't get what he wanted for his birthday, and he was outside throwing a baseball in the air thinking of how angry he was, until he realized that his father worked two jobs and he had 6 siblings and he became grateful for everything his father provided. At that moment he heard God's voice say, "Because of your love for your father I am going to use you in the final battle of armageddon." (This led Dan to create a mosaic recently of the battle of Armageddon, using fish tank pebbles.)

15 years later he was living a party lifestyle, getting drunk all the time, and was tired of feeling that life was pointless. One night when he was drunk and laying on a rug beating his fists into the floor because he was angry about his uselessness, two hooded angels came, picked him up, and threw him into a chair, making him immediately sober. They spoke to him through a LONG poem, which he wrote down that night and recited to me perfectly today, word for word.

Not long after that he was with a bunch of friends all smoking pot and getting high on a mountain, and Dan left them to climb higher up the mountain. He got stuck and fell off the mountain but God saved him because he slowly fell and landed on his butt in the middle of his circle of friends, much to their stoned amazement. (Folks, I can't make this up.)

After sharing these mind-blowing statements he preached to me a little, saying that Jesus Christ really is the answer to everything, and then thanked me for allowing him to share with me.

The best part of this? An electrician was here this morning and overheard the whole thing, and his face was PRICELESS.

Shannon = Trouble

Shannon, who brought some sexiness to Brookside earlier (see below), has finally completed her community service commitment. Although she provided some much-needed entertainment, I am really glad she is finished. That girl is trouble! Here are some highlights of her time with us:

1. She was fond of complaining about having to fulfill her community service commitment and offered to pay me off to sign off on her file (instead of having her do the work)

2. She seemed proud of working for a strip joint, and felt compelled to share this information with anyone who would listen (even the most conservative volunteers)

3. Her BF beat her up the night before her last day, so she couldn't work her last day because her eye was "swollen shut" (all this was communicated to me via text as I was on vacation in NYC)

4. Because she didn't show up on her last day, her time with us was extended, so we got to hear all the gory details of her BF's arrest, including that her BF's mother filed for custody of her 3 year old because Shannon wouldn't falsify her police statement (again) so that the BF could have a reduced sentence

While I felt really bad for her, it got to the point where I just couldn't stand having her around anymore because the drama was too much! She lives a very sad life.

Just waiting

I am in Becky's office observing certain behaviors. Dan is working the front desk and will be there until 12:30. Julie just arrived ( 12:15) and clearly does not know what to do since Dan is using her chair. I was quiet for about 30 sec. - all I could take - and began to tell Julie to relax, but she said she would stand and wait. I suggested she go sit at the table, but Dad beat me to it by opening up a folding chair for her.
She is now sitting on said chair with nothing to do - just waiting.

Solemn Wedding Turns into Kissing Game

Dan, the man who is married to his sister (see previous post), was tasked with sorting through some newspaper articles and filing them today. At one point, he found an article interesting and called to me from the desk... "Hey, have you heard about this flamin' ball?"
Flamen Ball was the son of Eliphalet Ball, the man whom this village is named for, and the article, titled the same as this post, was about Flamen kissing his bride too much during their wedding.
I tried to keep a straight face as Dan said flamin' ball this, flamin' ball that. Wasn't easy.
And of course, he saw no humor in it, which made it even better.